My little is two. Isabella is two. I have a two year old. Two, two, two, two, two. I don’t think this will sink in any time soon. I’ve been preparing myself for this moment, when my baby would officially become a toddler, but I don’t think I’m prepared at all. She was so little yesterday and today she is TWO.
It seems like just yesterday Isabella wasn’t walking, talking, or downing candy behind my back. She was just in my tummy, dancing, stretching, punching, kicking, dislocating two of my ribs (totally happened). Today she is two.
Because I have yet to come to terms with the present, let me tell you about the beginning. PS. This is going to get personal.
Pregnancy was bittersweet for me. For the same reasons it is for most, the heartburn, back pain, insomnia, vomiting, and the inability to eat more than a teacup serving at a time. It was also much more bitter in a very different way. You see, when I was in the eighth grade, I was told by a specialist that there was a high likelihood that I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant without medical intervention and even then, my body might have trouble remaining pregnant. The news was difficult to hear but it was easy to distract myself at 13. Fast forward through the next several years of the same news from different doctors and I eventually came to terms with the idea.
After getting married, I eventually decided to take advantage of our great medical insurance to address at least one new issue. A few years later, a month before we relocated across the country so that I could start law school, I had a laparoscopy, they discovered a couple more problems with my internal plumbing, burned some tissue, and I went on my way. A week or so later, I called the doctor with some concerns and was immediately called in for blood work. Within 24 hours I had a call back. I was pregnant.
Apparently I was pregnant before and during the surgery but the tests didn’t pick it up. The next day I sat in my doctor’s office, terrified. Seth sat by me while my mother asked several questions about possible complications, what we could expect, what the consequences of anesthesia would be, and I grew more and more terrified. The doctor took us through the possibilities and explained to us the “all-or-none phenomenon” which basically meant that the whole situation would either cause me to miscarry or, if it survived, the baby would likely be unaffected. She mentioned that there was a chance that if the fetus did survive, there might be issues with spinal development, brain development, eyesight, and I had officially zoned out for the rest.
Eight years of thinking that having a baby wasn’t possible, but there it was. After the twice-a-week ultrasounds and visits with a high-risk specialist were all behind me, there it was. There she was. This little sea monkey, kicking me, tirelessly. Isabella is my miracle baby.
Fast forward again through my 17 hour labor and my emergency cesarean and there she was. There I was, too, but I was too drugged to notice me.
The first year was FULL of curve balls. I’d FINALLY get the hang of one stage and it would be over within the minute. But everyday was new to Isabella, it was so fun to see her amazed by the simplest of things. By one, she was a seasoned traveler with a taste for Rolos (that started at four months, it’s a story for another day).
And then she was one. Walking, talking, and running. Isabella is so driven by her curiosity for life. She has the sweetest heart and is such a tough cookie. She lives to explore, learn, and to be happy. I am so amazed by the little she’s growing up to be.
As a mommy of a now, two-year old, I have learned patience, I’ve learned how to share (everything), I have learned how to love more deeply and more fully, I have learned to enjoy life, and I’ve relearned how to prioritize what is important, and to forget about what is not. I know that there will be countless things along our journey together that I can’t control. But I will stop at nothing to make sure that regardless of what comes our way, Isabella will smile. I want to teach her to be happy, to be kind, to be eager to learn, to be grateful, to be generous, to be considerate of others, to be driven, to be firm in her faith, to love, and among many other things, to be herself. I am amazed by my sweet girl and have grown so much since I first found out that I would be blessed by her presence.
Now enjoy the flood of photos.